Wedding Trends That Take The Cake

Wedding traditions and customs vary from one country and culture to another. Each one is special and celebrates the marriage bond of the newlyweds.

AFRICA

• Young girls are trained to become good wives at an early age.
• Soon-to-be brides are sometimes taught a secret language allowing them to communicate with other married women…without their husbands understanding.
• In Somalia, a girl might be engaged even before she is born.
• In Sudan, the groom must pay his wife’s family in cattle for the loss of their daughter’s labor.
• The bride’s veil is made of plaited hair, representing reserve, and the wedding guests wear traditional regional costumes.
• Wine is poured on the land as a dedication to the gods.

ARABIA

• Often, the bride and groom meet for the first time on their wedding day.
• Arabian law permits a man to have four wives, but today, since expenses can be very high, men are generally sticking to a single wife.
• The bride wears an elaborate veil and has her hands and feet decorated with elaborate drawings created with henna.
• During the wedding reception, men and women are separated.

BULGARIA

• The bride tosses a dish filled with wheat, coins and raw eggs over her head, and if the dish breaks, it will bring her good luck.
• It is considered good luck for the bride and the groom to each step into the church with their right foot first.
• Once the official wedding papers are signed, another wedding custom, stepping, occurs.  Whoever steps on the other’s foot first will be dominate and will provide for the new family.

BERMUDA

• The bride and groom walk under a moon gate after the ceremony to bring them good luck.
• The bride and groom have separate wedding cakes.
• The bride’s cake is a tiered fruitcake covered in silver leaf. On top is a small cedar sapling, which will be planted after the ceremony to symbolize the growth of the couple’s love.
• The groom’s cake is covered in gold leaf to represent prosperity.

CHINA

• Firecrackers greet the bride when she arrives at the wedding ceremony to ward off evil spirits.
• Chinese wedding dresses are red adorned with gold for good luck.
• Decorations and gift-wrappings are red and gold to symbolize happiness and wealth.
• Peanuts are associated with virility and are a lucky gift for a new bride and groom. The most traditional type of wedding sweet is a hard peanut and sesame candy, and it is said to bring the bride and groom a large family.

CZECHOSLOVAKIA

• An infant is laid on the wedding bed to symbolize fertility.
• The bride and the groom break plates into as many pieces as possible. The number of pieces is proportionate to the success of the marriage. The more pieces, the more successful the marriage.
• Brides often plant a tree in their yard and decorate it with ribbons and painted eggshells. It is their hope that they’ll live as long as the tree.

DENMARK

• Arches of pine branches are built in front of the bride’s home, which symbolises fertility.
• During the reception, when the groom disappears to the restroom, or wherever, all the unmarried young men run over to kiss the bride. When the bride disappears, all the single young girls run over to kiss the groom.
• After the wedding waltz, the male guests lift up the groom and cut the tips of his socks to symbolize that he should no longer walk in the footsteps of other women.

Look for Part 2 of Wedding Traditions from Around the World next week.

Check out Pocket Wedding Invitations from Best Little Wedding Shop…one of their most popular styles! Each invitation offers unique pocket folds to tuck away your invite and display it to your guests in bold colors and unique styles. Check them out!

Lisa Bakewell

Contrary to traditional thought, you and your groom do not have a year to send out your thank you cards. All of your thank you notes should be written within three months of receiving a gift–sooner, if possible.

To make sure that you stay on top of the important task of showing your appreciation, you should try to send a thank you card to the sender the day that you receive your gift. If you can’t get them out on the day that your gift arrives, though, at least vow to get the thank you out within a week. You definitely don’t want to let them stack up. It’s a lot easier to write a few notes a day (or week) than to have to write a hundred in a month!

Personal thank you notes are an absolute must! A personal note inside your thank you cards is the only way to appropriately show your appreciation for a wedding gift.

So…

Don’t use preprinted or fill-in-the blanks cards–and never send an email. These options will convey to your gift-giver that their gift didn’t mean much to you.

Do write a warm, handwritten note. The message can be brief, but make it personal, mentioning both the gift and the giver.

Don’t forget to consider other gifts, such as bridal parties and wedding showers, when you’re writing out your thank you notes. It’s appropriate to add this particular thank you to the same note you send thanking them for your wedding gift.

Do mention each gift received in your thank you note when you are the recipient of more than one gift from a particular person or family–if the gifts are received close together.

Don’t thank your gift giver for a shower gift and wedding gift in the same card. Each gifting event deserves its own recognition. Shower gifts should be acknowledged within two weeks of your party, and wedding presents should ideally be acknowledged within two weeks of returning from your honeymoon.

Do write an individual thank you note to everyone involved in giving a group gift.

Don’t forget to mention what you’ll be purchasing with a monetary gift. If you’re saving it for a new home, etc., you may want to mention that, as well.

Do promptly acknowledge the receipt of a shipped gift. Even before you prepare the thank you note, you may want to call the giver to let them know that you received their gift. Follow up with a written thank you card, though.

Don’t mention to the gift giver that you’ll be returning a gift or that you’re dissatisfied with it. Some things are best left unsaid.

Do send photos ONLY if including them won’t delay sending the thank you note.

Don’t use tardiness as an excuse not to write your thank you notes. Receiving a late thank you is better than no thank you at all.

For an excellent selection of Thank You Cards, visit Best Little Wedding Shop.

Lisa Bakewell

The big question has been asked, and you’ve given the positive response. Now you’re engaged, and you want the whole world to know…today! Well, hold on a minute. Rather than shouting the news from the nearest rooftop, you should be aware of proper engagement announcement etiquette. After all, you don’t want any hurt feelings, right? So, before you start planning the wedding, use these tips, and you’re more apt to keep everyone happy.

First of all, your formal engagement announcement should be made within one to three months after you and your husband-to-be become engaged. And, typically, your engagement will last about a year prior to your wedding, so there will be plenty of time to plan–for you and your guests. Immediately after you’re engaged, though, you should get an engagement ring (if you choose to have one and haven’t gotten one already) and you should tell those closest to you about the engagement.

Family

Etiquette states that the parents of the bride should be told about the engagement first, then the groom’s parents. Typically, the bride’s parents are told first, then the grooms immediately afterwards. While an in-person visit would be nice, if your parents live far away, a telephone conversation would be fine. Make sure that both of your are present, though.

If there are children involved, you should tell them first. Hopefully, you’ve prepared them for the possibility that you may be getting married. This may be a tough time for them, but reassure them that your new spouse won’t replace them.

Grandparents, siblings and other relatives should be told immediately, as well. A simple phone call or family dinner to announce the news is great!

Friends

Your engagement announcement to your friends can be an informal get-together or even a phone call. A get-together with friends, though, would be a nice way to celebrate your upcoming nuptials!

When you’re ready to tell the world of your engagement, you may want to consider the following resources:

Newspapers

Contact your local newspaper(s) to submit your engagement announcement. If you’re uncomfortable doing this yourself, either set of parents would be glad to help or do it for you. Before submitting the announcement, though, consider having an engagement photo taken.

Wedding Website and/or Blog

A simple way to make your announcement to the world is by publishing the news online. Websites, even a simple one-page design, will work great, and blogs are easy to create (and oftentimes free). If you have a Facebook or MySpace account, these forums would work well too. Update the site(s), periodically, with additional wedding news and announcements. Be sure to include your gift registries, hotel information and other pertinent wedding information.

US Postal Service

Though this is a more expensive method, announcing your engagement through a card sent in the mail is the classic way to announce your upcoming wedding. Check out these great wedding engagement announcements from Best Little Wedding Shop!

A note about engagement parties: While engagement parties are generally a part of engagement, it is not mandatory to have one. If you do, though, remember only to invite those people who you plan to have at the wedding.

Lisa Bakewell

Why do traditional brides wear white? Why do father’s typically “give away” their daughters? And why do brides and grooms save part of their wedding cake? These questions and several others are smartly answered in an article for mental_floss magazine written by Jenn Thompson, titled Bizarre origins of wedding traditions.

A few of our favs from the article:

Did you know that the original duty of a “Best Man” was to serve as armed backup for the groom in case he had to resort to kidnapping his intended bride away from disapproving parents?

It used to be assumed that when there was a wedding, a baby christening would follow shortly. So, instead of baking two cakes, they’d just bake one big one and save a part of it to be eaten when the baby arrived.

A bride used to carry bunches of herbs instead of flower bouquets to ward off evil spirits.

And, next time you tear up watching a beaming father walk his little girl down the aisle, remember that it’s just a tiny, barbaric hold over from the days when daughters were nothing but dollar signs to daddy dearest.

If you find these tidbits interesting, be sure to read the article. You’ll love Jenn Thompson’s tongue-in-cheek historical look at wedding traditions!

Also, don’t forget to take a look at all of the traditional wedding invitations,  favors and accessories  from Best Little Wedding Shop.

Lisa Bakewell

With weddings costing an average of $20,000 today, it’s smart to start budgeting right away to determine who will pay for what. Traditionally, the bride’s parents picked up the tab for most of the wedding, but today more couples are breaking with tradition (due to later marriages and skyrocketing costs) and divvying up the costs in their own way.

Traditional Expenses:

Bride’s Family

Reception (including food, music, decorations, rental fees and entertainment)
Ceremony
Flowers (wedding and reception)
Wedding Dress, Headpiece and Accessories
Invitations
Announcements
Programs
Postage
Favors
Photography
Transportation

Groom’s Family

Rehearsal Dinner
Wedding Present
Alcohol for Reception

Bride

Groom’s Ring
Groom’s Gift
Makeup, Hair and Beauty Treatments
Gifts for Her Attendants
Bridesmaid Luncheon

Groom

Marriage License
Bride’s Wedding and Engagement Rings
Honeymoon
Bride’s Gift
Gifts for His Attendants
Corsages
Boutonnières
Bride’s Bouquet
Clergyman/Officiant Fee

Wedding Party

Bachelorette/Bachelor Parties
Tux Rentals/Bridesmaid Dresses and Accessories

Non-Traditional Ideas:

Older Bride and Groom
The bride and groom pay for all wedding costs.

Asking for Help
The bride and groom set their budget, then ask for help from their parents for the remainder of the costs. Another approach may be to split the bill three ways (bride & groom, bride’s family, groom’s family).

Lisa Bakewell

When you plan your wedding, there are already a million details to think about, and the last thing that you want to do is worry about wedding etiquette. Use these tips to help you decide which traditional wedding etiquette “rules” you’d like to keep and which you can afford to change to suit your needs.

Engagement

Traditionally, your parents decided whom you’d date and, eventually, marry. Engagement rings were always given.

Today, though your parents aren’t going to decide whom you marry, it’s a good idea for the groom-to-be to establish a good relationship with your parents. One way to do this: have him ask your dad for your hand in marriage. Again, though this “rule” isn’t written in stone, it’s a nice gesture and will go a long way in winning over your parents.

Also, though engagement rings are optional, wedding rings (at least for the bride) are still considered appropriate.

Telling the News

Traditionally, the bride’s parents were told first, but the best thing was–and still is–to tell all of the parents at the same time.

Paying for the Wedding

Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid for the bulk of the wedding–pretty much everything except the booze and the rehearsal dinner, which was paid by the groom’s parents.

Today, it’s a free-for-all. It doesn’t really matter who pays for what, and, typically, the bride and groom pays a lot of the wedding expenses out of their own pockets. Your best bet is to have a sit-down with both sets of parents (or all sets of parents, if there are more than two) and discuss the wedding expenses and the wedding budget ahead of time.

Invitations

Traditionally, wedding invitations were printed with black ink on white paper.

Today, the sky’s the limit! There are a wide variety of  wedding invitation choices in a wide variety of color combinations. Colored ink is totally acceptable, and there is no need to use the same color as that of the bridal party’s dress color.

Wedding Attire

Bride

Traditionally, the white dress was just that–traditional. Any first-time bride was expected to wear a white dress and, for modesty, a veil. Older and second-time brides, generally, wore a cream-colored dress instead of white. For good luck, the bride’s wedding dress was kept a secret until the ceremony–especially from the groom!

Today, as we’ve blogged about here, wedding dresses come in all colors, lengths and fabric choices. Use your imagination!

Bridesmaids

Traditionally, a matron or maid of honor would not wear the same dress as the younger bridesmaids, and it used to be common for the bride to decide what the bridesmaid’s dresses would look like. This is because the bride’s parents, typically, paid for the dresses.

Today, bridesmaids usually have a say in the dress they wear for the wedding, though the bride will set the perimeters of color and, possibly, length and style. Today, most bridesmaids and the maid/matron of honor pay for their own dresses, shoes and accessories.

Mother of the Bride

Traditionally, the mothers of the bride and groom wore a dress, which complimented the color scheme of the bride’s wedding. The same still holds true today. Additionally, the bride’s mother still has first choice in dress selection, which has always been the tradition.

Men of the Wedding Party

Traditionally, when the bride wore white, the men in the wedding party wore what is referred to as “morning dress.” This type of dress consisted of either an all-gray or black tailcoat with pinstriped pants. Morning dress was considered incomplete unless a top hat was carried (though no one was really required to wear it).

Today, men of the wedding party should dress with the same formality as the bride and groom, though no one should outshine the groom.

Guests

Traditionally, wedding guests typically dressed in their “Sunday Best.”

Today, the wedding invitation should indicate the correct style of dress for the guests. If it’s a black tie wedding, say that. This will indicate to your guests that men should wear a dinner jacket and tie, and women will wear eveningwear or a formal gown.

Rings

Traditionally, the exchange of the rings was a very important part of the wedding ceremony. Typically, the groom bought the wedding set (or obtained the heirloom pieces) without the knowledge of the bride-to-be, which might pleasantly surprise or possibly disappoint her.

Today, though it’s still somewhat of a tradition for the groom-to-be to pick out the engagement and wedding ring without the bride’s knowledge, it’s also become acceptable for the bride-to-be to help pick out the ring set that she’ll be wearing (hopefully) for the rest of her life. Additionally, since some men today don’t wear a wedding ring, it’s acceptable to buy (and use) a lesser expensive ring for the ceremony.

Tip: If your husband-to-be doesn’t want to wear a wedding ring every day, you may want to consider another gift of jewelry that your man will wear on a regular basis.

Bride’s Name

Traditionally, the bride took the groom’s last name as her own.

Today, the bride has a choice of keeping her own name, taking her husband’s or hyphenating the two names together. If the bride is keeping her maiden name, the priest or master of ceremonies might say, “I’d like to present, in their first appearance as husband and wife, Mrs. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith”.

Wedding Toast

Traditionally, the first person to speak was the bride’s father who proposed a toast to the bride and groom (if the bride’s mother was a widow, another male family member made this toast). Next, the bridegroom spoke on behalf of himself and his bride, thanking his father-in-law for his speech, the bride’s parent’s for giving him their daughter and the guests for coming. He, also, complimented his bride, thanked his best man, and thanked all the other helpers. Last, he expressed regret for absent family members or friends and proposed a toast to the bridesmaids. Following the groom, the best man gave his speech.

Today,  just about anything goes when toasts are made, but choose your speakers beforehand to allow them preparation time. Remind your speakers, too, to keep it short (under five minutes) and to avoid offensive jokes. Also, speakers shouldn’t refer to the honeymoon, past marriages or girl/boyfriends, future family or sex. And, it might be a good plan to have the speeches early on at the reception. This way your speakers will not have had a chance to drink too much!

First Dance

Traditionally, the bride and her father were the first to dance at the reception in the daddy-daughter dance.

Today, it’s totally acceptable to have your DJ or band invite additional dads and daughters out onto the dance floor, or anyone for that matter. The choice it yours.

Cutting the Cake

Traditionally, the bride and groom made a grand display of cutting the cake. It was a great photo opportunity, plus there was usually the obligatory mashing of one’s face with cake as the bride and groom took the first bite.

Today, though cake-cutting is still a popular tradition today, it’s also OK to skip it altogether. Some couples just don’t like cake. If you feel like you don’t want to skip the tradition altogether, though, you might opt for pie instead. Or how about ice cream?

Throwing the Bouquet

Traditionally, the bride threw the bouquet over her shoulder to all of the unmarried women at the reception. Whoever caught the bouquet was, allegedly, the next girl to get married.

Today, throwing the bouquet is still fine, but have you noticed how most single women hate the tradition? Why not propose a toast, instead, to honor your single friends?

Leaving for the Honeymoon

Traditionally, after the wedding, the bride and groom would exit the church, have rice thrown on them and then they’d be whisked away to their honeymoon.

Today, brides and grooms are staying around for the party. And why not? After all of the planning, stressing and money spent, it only makes sense to enjoy yourself. The honeymoon can wait!

Gifts

Traditionally, couples either left their wedding gifts up to chance or made a wedding gift wish list that was then left at the bride’s parent’s house for anyone who wanted to see it. This was the old-fashioned gift registry–and a way of eliminating the possibility of receiving three toasters.

Today, there are a ton of gift registries available. Just choose your favorite stores, and go through the registry process. When you send out invitations, be sure to include your registry information. This way, hopefully, you’ll only get one toaster!

Tip: Make sure that your gift list includes a variety of inexpensive gift ideas for those guests without a huge wedding gift budget.

Thank You Cards

Traditionally, as well as today, thank you cards are super-important–there’s no getting around it. They were important yesterday, and they still are today. Not sending a thank you card is both discourteous and extremely hurtful. Check with Best Little Wedding Shop for a great stock of Thank You Cards.

Visit Wedding Etiquette Tips for great information including wedding invitation etiquette, thank you note etiquette, seating arrangement tips, gift etiquette and a wedding survival kit.

Lisa Bakewell